Keep Your Sunny Side Up

Sun Drenched

Hard to say when it was official, but yesterday was the official-est day I’ve had yet. Got my franchise ID and business phone number. Over the next few days I will register with the state for a sales tax permit, assign a business name, open a bank account, and drink vodka straight from the bottle to silence the inner voice shrieking “Land sakes alive what have we gotten ourself into now?”

And yes, I talk to myself using the Royal We. Call it first person plural schizophrenia. Or maybe I’ve just watched too much of The Borgias.

It doesn’t matter so much what the business will be doing (if you simply must know, it’s a carpet & upholstery cleaning franchise), but that the business will exist. I watched my previous employer run a business into the ground with greed, slash and outsource jobs, gut our 401k savings and eliminate what was one of the few remaining pension plans around. Based on the fact that my parents taught me to be a decent human being, I think I can do a better job of running a show.

That said, I still think my former employer is one of the more ethical corporations in our state. Sadly, that’s not saying much these days.

When the feds were handing bailouts to banks, my former employer bought a bank so it could get in on the fun too. Then they sold the bank, because banking has absolutely nothing to do with their industry.

I promise you my business will never pretend to be anything but a carpet & upholstery cleaning business (except for the possible future addition of tile and wood floor services). I will not, for example, rent a cow to keep in the front yard to qualify for farm subsidies.

Like every candidate currently running for office, I pledge to create jobs. The first one will be for myself. I pledge to work so darned hard at growing the business that I cannot do all the work myself, and will need to create a second job. And hopefully, eventually, a third. Und so weiter.

When you call my number, you will reach a small call center in Utah, not in Zambonia. I will know each of the customer service reps personally. They will remember you the next time you call. They will know I can’t do your rugs on Thursday morning because I have a dental appointment, but can fit you in that afternoon. They will remind me to be sure I close your front door tightly because your dog likes to run out.

Here in the US, we’re hip deep in election season (that reminds me, my business also offers pet odor control solutions) and the candidates are hawking their plans to jump-start the economy. Oddly enough, the plans all involve getting us to give the government more money so they can make it happen for us. I think the resurrection of the economy is in our own hands, whatever our political leanings may be. Shop locally, work hard, be honest, don’t waste stuff, help someone else get back on their feet however you can, stay optimistic, take responsibility for your own happiness and growth. No government or corporation can do that for us. We don’t have to wait until November.

And I promise to share my vodka with anyone who needs it.

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One Response to Keep Your Sunny Side Up

  1. Hank Hamm says:

    I read your post with some hoots and chuckles as usual, but was so interested in your choice of business. I also tried that business with a partner when I was a young married man with only one son. I traveled around to various towns in the mountains of the east Kootenays calling on motels mostly in an old Studebaker station wagon. I had a radio commercial which advertised my * great* Scotchguard treatment. In the end the population wasn’t there to sustain two families and I went back to work for the railroad.

    Good luck with your venture, and especially with learning to control the direction of the rotary rug scrubber if that is what you are using. (Keeping well stocked on Vodka for the first while is probably a good idea; it will help to medicate all the aches and pains.)

    Cheers!

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